RACHEL'S COLUMNS
These articles appeared in Rachel's column every Friday in the A3 section of The Age
Bananas, the deadliest killers in the fruit bowl
4th February 2005
In 2004, there were more than 300 banana-related accidents in Britain , most involving people slipping on skins. I was unable to determine what the other banana accidents were. Did some one poke themselves in the eye with a banana? Or, burn their moustache off by mistaking a banana for a cigar? Did the father of the bride at a posh wedding sit on a banana or did the bride get drunk, jump into the pool and use bananas as nose plugs? The possibilities are endless and will only get more bizarre so I'll stop right now.
It's believed that the banana is the oldest recorded fruit in history and it's the best known and eaten. Just one banana a day contains everything a human needs (except chocolate); all the 8 amino-acids our body cannot produce itself, potassium, vitamin C and they're a great source of fibre. So what's with bananaphobes ? No, I'm not making this up. Forget about black cats crossing your path or walking under ladders, because to many sailors around the world there is nothing unluckier than a banana on board a boat. My friend Deirdre, a normally sane and perfectly pedicured, one-time commodore at Beaumaris Yacht Club won't even eat a banana muffin the day before she sails.
The banana is an enigmatic and alluring fruit, it's nickname is "the fruit of the wise" but actually it's technically classified as a herb and is a favorite food of monkeys – who's favourite activity is hurling bodily waste products at strangers who talk rubbish. Is Nationals Senator Ron Boswell planning any zoo trips?
The origin of this superstition is uncertain, but many believe that it started when rickety old boats transported bananas. These boats would frequently sink, leaving behind a trail of floating bananas; thus leading witnesses to deduce that hauling bananas was unlucky. A more scientific explanation is that since bananas give off ethylene gas when they ripen, it causes other perishable foodstuffs to spoil more quickly. This expended gas theory explains why some sailors think it's unlucky to have Senator Ron Boswell on board. Another theory suggests that crates of bananas would also contain unwanted pests, such as spiders, snakes, flies, mice and parking inspectors. The transatlantic crossings in the 17th and 18th centuries were a very risky endeavour. Apart from death from scurvy, mutiny or the ridiculous sight of a man with a parrot on his shoulder, these pests would make their way into the bilges of the ships, breed and party on down to the captain's quarters. The captains circulated the rumor that bananas were bad luck in an attempt to keep the critters off the ship and out of their cabin.
The crew and passengers were more than eager to follow suit because of the risk of the crossing. So, if the captain announced prior to the voyage that bananas were bad luck and not allowed aboard the vessel, everyone complied. These were the days of burning witches, stoning adulterers and the promise of undying love from brave knights – superstitions were taken very seriously.
Nowhere is bananaphobia more serious than in Hawaii , where legend has it that the god Pele (no, not the soccer hero) brought his brother to the islands to be the god of fishing. The story goes that he was on the list for a penile implant and thus was prone to episodes of banana envy. A clue to how Hawaiians feel about the subject can be found on the Kona Fishing Charter website. "Absolutely positively, no ifs, ands or buts, do not bring bananas on board". In Florida , the prohibition goes beyond bananas to include any object that has the word banana on it, such as Banana Boat sunscreen.
Sailing types are a silent, often brooding, mysterious lot who balance the randomness of the world around them with the rhythmic, seasonal flows of nature – wearing not much more than a pair of shorts and sunscreen. Why shouldn't they be fearful of bananas? In the words of US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, "We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don't know we don't know." He's talking about bananas on boats isn't he?
